I Lost Love – Dealing With Loss In A Relationship

I Lost Love – Dealing With Loss In A Relationship

I always seem to find myself deep in thought about previous relationships and how eventually I lost love. I try to learn from the experiences where I lost love so that I can do better next time. One of my biggest focuses is always to move on with a much greater understanding of the concept of love than what I had before.

There are parts of my life where I was absolutely sure that I lost love in a way that was worse than ever before. I always felt as if my life was over at this point and perhaps that I would never find love again. However, as it turns out, each and every time that I lost love, it was only so that I could move on and find a better and stronger love in the future.

We all have to remember that love has a spontaneous lifespan just like everything else that we experience in our lives. Every time that I lost love, I realized this, and it helped me move on and make sense of what I was feeling in a capacity that allowed me to find happiness again even after losing love.

Each time that I lost love, I found myself realizing that the lifespan of the most recent relationship was longer than the lifespan of the last relationship, meaning that each relationship brought more meaning and more joy than before. I was definitely benefitting, growing as a person, even though it did not always seem so at the time.

Typically any time that I lost love, I felt as if I was never going to get it back. I felt as if I was lost forever and would never feel joy or love or happiness again. But upon thinking about the relationship and the moment where I lost love, I eventually realized that even though the end of the relationship was bad or rocky, I still walked away with good things, learning and growing as a person in the process.

I soon realized that just because I lost love, that did not mean that I would not find it again.

I realized that just because I had lost love, it did not mean that I was destined to be alone forever.

Most importantly, I learned that in losing love, I was learning how to find love again.

As we get older and become more experienced in matters of the heart, our relationship life spans grow, and our loves increase and become more powerful and more influential over our lives. That means losing love is a part of gaining love and growing love.

If you are in a position where you have lost love, don’t let your willpower to carry on falter. You will either rekindle that love if it is meant to be, or you will find new and better love in the future, having learned from each and every one of your past relationships, even the bad ones.

How To Win Ex Back – Rekindling Your Love With An Ex

How To Win Ex Back – Rekindling Your Love With An Ex

Are you dying to know how to win ex back?

It can be a difficult endeavor, because some of the necessary methods seem somewhat counter intuitive, but if you want to learn how to win back an ex, you have to consider all of the things that are mentioned in this article.

The most important thing to do to learn how to win ex back is to calm yourself down before all else. High emotions are not going to allow you to focus on learning how to win ex back.

Instead, you are going to want to take a strategic angle to handling things. Drop the desperation and start thinking logically when determining how to win him or her back once and for all.

If you want to learn how to win ex back, you need to accept and agree with the split. This may seem hard to do but it is vitally important to rekindling things in the future.

If your ex is against future contact, then letting him or her know that you are okay with the breakup may disarm this attack and make it easier for you to talk to him or her in the future. This is an important part of learning how to win ex back.

The next step is simply to live your life if you want to learn how to win ex back. Go out, have fun and spend time with friends. This will show your ex that you are willing to move on. It is going to force your ex to realize how they really feel about you.

If your relationship really is meant to be, your ex will realize it. If they do not realize it, then perhaps it is not actually meant to be. This is a pretty simple concept but still difficult for many people to completely grasp.

Now you are going to want to limit contact as part of learning how to win ex back, because limiting contact sends a psychological message to your ex boy or girlfriend, forcing them to deal with you outside of their normal day to day life.

If you force yourself down their throat, then they are not going to respond well to your presence in their lives. If you limit your contact with them, they will find themselves missing you, thinking about you and wondering how you are doing, and this will force them to come to terms with the future of your relationship.

Following this simple system will help you learn how to win ex back. It may seem complicated at first because it is hard to avoid someone you care about, but these steps are absolutely vital in allowing things to be rekindled in the future. With patience and love, you can rekindle a relationship and learn how to win ex back.

Can You And Your Boyfriend Get Back Together

Can You And Your Boyfriend Get Back Together

If you’ve broken up, you probably wonder can you and your boyfriend get back together? Sadly, there’s no one right answer to that question. It depends a lot on you and your boyfriend, and the dynamic of your relationship. If you wonder can you and your boyfriend get back together, you may want to speak to a counselor and let them evaluate your situation.

Marriage and couple counselors have heard all sorts of problems and sorts of reasons from both the husbands and wives. They’re experienced in dealing with these sorts of conflicts and may be able to help you. If you ask them, should me and my boyfriend get back together? you might be surprised at their answer.

The goal of marriage and couple counselors is to save relationships. Unfortunately, many of these programs aren’t that good at really diagnosing the problem. If either half of the couple lies, it makes it even more difficult for them to treat you.

But once they get to the bottom of things, you might be surprised how accurate they are. And since their goal is to help you handle your relationship, the word divorce isn’t thrown around. If you go to counseling talking about divorce it might come up. Or if they really feel that you’re in a dangerous or destructive relationship.

But for the most part, their aim is to keep you together or get you back together in a way that you can both be happy. The hardest part of you and your boyfriend get back together will probably be getting him to go to the counseling in the first place.

The good news is that he doesn’t actually have to go. You can decide to go to couple counseling on your own. It might not be as effective, but it does a couple of very good things for you when you’re trying to get back together.

First, it shows him that you’re serious. If he won’t go and you opt to without him, then it seems to him that you’re really trying hard to change something about your relationship. Why else would you go alone to a session meant for two people?

Second, you can learn some important tips and techniques in counseling that you can start putting to use right away. Just because he’s not going to counseling that doesn’t mean that you can’t improve the relationship by leaps and bounds.

You’ll learn communication skills and persuasion skills that can make a real difference in how the two of you relate to each other. And if he sees you going to counseling and better able to handle yourself in general without getting angry with him, that could actually prompt him to decide to go, too.

You have to set the example and hope he follows if you’re the only that will voluntarily go. Whether you and your boyfriend get back together or not, you will have benefited personally from the skills you learned in counseling so it’s definitely worth going.

I’m Still In Love With My Ex

I’m Still In Love With My Ex

Do you say, “I’m still in love with my ex!” and wonder how you’re going to get through the hours, let alone the next days? It’s common to feel completely overwhelmed after a breakup, especially if you’re not the one what wanted to end it. And if you sit around thinking, “I’m still in love with my ex,” you’re only making it harder on yourself.

Of course, if you’re really in love with your ex you could make an effort to get back together. There’s no guarantee that anything you do will get you back together, but you could still try. Often, being genuine and just making it really clear that you don’t want to lose your ex will be enough to move them to give it another chance.

If cheating was involved in some capacity, then their wanting to come back is less likely, but it’s still possible. If you cheated, you might think it’s going to be harder to get them back.

But if they cheated and that relationship has ended, it’s still harder to get them back once they’ve been with someone else. And it’s going to take a long time for you to start trusting each other again.

It’s important for you to decide that if your ex gives in and comes back, how will you keep from falling into the same patterns the next time around? You can say, “I’m still in love with my ex!” until you’re blue in the face, and that won’t chance whether or not you have problems in the future.

It’s really easy to be in love with someone. But making a relationship work is tough and time consuming. And you have the added difficulty of overcoming a break up. You can try to convince your ex that if you get back together you’ll change your ways, and maybe they’ll believe you.

But the best thing you can do is simply show that you’ve changed your ways, without saying much about it. Actions really do almost always speak much louder than words, so the things you do are going to be noticed more by your ex than the things you say.

It’s important to say the right things, too. But it’s more important to do the right things. If you’re really still in love with them then you should want to change your actions dramatically, at least right now. When you think your actions might make a difference it’s easy to feel like you can change many things about yourself.

What you have to determine is whether or not you can really follow through with it. There’s no point in making promises to your ex that you’re not going to be able to keep.

If you have any doubt that you’ll want to make the changes that you or your ex feel are necessary, then you shouldn’t promise that you’ll make them. Though you say, “I’m still in love with my ex, “ you have to remember than only lasting changes will matter, not just a fast change to win them back.

Help I Want My Husband Back

Help I Want My Husband Back

Do you tell people, “I want my husband back?” It’s not uncommon to want your husband back after you split up, no matter how back things were when you were together. So before you absolutely decide that yes, “I want my husband back,” you should think long and hard about the way things were before you split up.

Think about why you split up in the first place. Was it your fault, his, or both your faults? Sometimes it’s hard to tell whose fault it was because so many little things seemed to contribute to the break up.

If there’s no obvious reason like one of you had an affair or somehow betrayed the other, then there’ s a better chance that your mantra of, “I want my husband back” will work out!

If there was an affair or a really big and hurtful problem like that, getting back together will be more of a challenge. But you can still do it, if you both want it and you both work hard at it. If you both don’t want it, it’s pretty unlikely that it will happen.

Have you asked your husband if he’s interested in getting back together? Do you even know his feelings about it? You might be surprised to find that while you’re saying, “I want my husband back!” he’s not that desperate to get back into the relationship.

That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about you, by the way. Just that something in the relationship wasn’t right for him and he’s no longer afraid to admit that. As bad as that sounds, it doesn’t mean that the relationship can’t be fixed.

If you can get him onboard and willing to try some of these techniques, try reading a book about marriage problems out loud to each other over breakfast or in the evening before bed. If you’re reading it at the same time, then it’s easier for you to discuss what you’ve just read while it’s all fresh on your mind.

Don’t be upset or alarmed if he doesn’t have any interest in going to counseling. While this does make it harder to get your man back, it can still be done. You can go to the counseling on your own and learn the techniques you need to communicate with him properly.

You can teach him these techniques, either overtly (here, let me show you) or covertly, by simply using them every time you interact. Even if he has no interest in learning anything you learned in class, the very act of doing the exercises yourself can give you a sense of power you didn’t have before.

Going to the counseling can make you feel like you have some power in the relationship, and can influence it either for the better or the worse. And since you’re alone with the counselor you can talk about some private issues that bother you, as well. Soon, “I want my husband back” could turn into, “I got my husband back.”

How To Get My Boyfriend Back After I Drove Him Away

One of the questions that you may ask yourself is how to get my boyfriend back. The practice of dating is full of ups and downs, and most of the downs are the result of a misunderstanding. So when you are trying to figure out what went wrong, here are some clues as to where men get the wrong message and end up backing off.

Many men back off for a reason that seems counter intuitive. By trying too hard to please the guy, serving his every need, in the end you are selling yourself as a doormat in his eyes. The idea is to be respectful with who you are, and how you sell yourself. That is not to say you should be dominant, but that you should say that being someone who is respectable is how to get my boyfriend back. Men do like to be treated well at times, but they want women who can standup for themselves.

Another thing that will send them away is to talk about your ex’s. Men are competing when they are dating. They are thinking of the other men who are potential competitors to their efforts, so when you mention other men in your life you are giving them something to compare against. Again, this is not to say you should not say anything. Background and personal history is important. Knowing that you dated one man throughout high school and college is important. Telling your date that he is a football player with 20 awards, his game stats, where his tattoos are, etc. is too much. Focusing on one ex will sell the idea that either you still have feelings for him, or if it is all negative, you will cause your date to over analyze themselves.

Business like behavior, or conversely being too promiscuous, will work against you. The general ideal is a lady like or feminine behavior. Too much on the skin side can work against you, but being boyish will also push away prospects. You should be feminine, conservative, and someone who is not cheap or intimidating.

Pressuring him is another turn off. This includes trying to get him to define his role and analyze who he is and how he feels. Men tend not to like having their feelings challenged, and if he has an idea that is proven wrong, then it can send him packing.

Another thing to send him packing is to try and change him. You can’t. Men think that being steady means that you want him for him, so trying to change him is going to tell him he has a serious problem. Even if he does not have a problem, trying to change him will challenge his feelings and strip him of who he is. Let him be him. If you need something else, find someone else.

No one is perfect, and no relationship is perfect; but when you are trying to figure out how to get my boyfriend back, these are steps to make sure you do not scare him off.

For more info see http://www.manblogger.com/magic

How To Avoid Depression When Your Girlfriend Breaks Up With You

You just broke up with your girlfriend. You have decided to spend one month giving the relationship a break and just using this time to “get your head together.”

So what do you do to avoid becoming depressed? If you have been spending all your free time with your ex you might find yourself alone and a bit confused as to what to do.

Here are some ideas.

Reconnect with old friends. Often when we are in a “relationship” we neglect our old friends. Take this opportunity to reconnect with old family members and friends that you have not seen for a while. This can not only be healthy emotionally but a nice distraction of the pain of the break up. One word of warning though. Do not make your break up the topic of every conversation your have with your friends. A little bit is ok but try to concentrate on other subjects.

Renew a forgotten hobby. Is there a past time or hobby that you used to enjoy but have neglected because you did not want to take time away from worshiping your girlfriend?

Get back into it! It is even better if this involves other people. Interacting with other people who have a similar passion and not talking about your girlfriend can really take your mind off your problems.

Get more focused at work. Is there a project you have been putting off because of your valuable “personal life?” Get totally into it. Fight depression and improve your pocketbook at the same time.

Do something for other people. One of the best ways to forget about your own problems is to do something for other people. Volunteer. Find a cause you believe in and pitch in part-time. Heck, go hang out with Sean Penn in Haiti for a bit! Do you have a skill that is valuable? Volunteer to teach it at a community center. Another great benefit of doing this type of work is that you can meet higher minded people. This can help not only help get your mind off yourself but can also help you with your own personal growth.

We all feel bad after a break up. It is really tough. But you really have to watch it. It will not be easy. There is no magic pill. (If someone offers you one do not take it that is not the answer!)

Here are some activities to avoid during this “take a breather from the relationship time:”

Sleeping all day. Bad, really bad! Don’t do it! Even if you were happy at first sleeping all day will make you depressed. Get up, get out and keep moving!

Staying at home like a hermit and refusing invitations to go out.

Getting drunk or stoned. Need I say more? Plus you could really ruin your chances of getting back with your ex if you drunk dial.

“Ear violating” everyone who will listen endlessly about your break up. Besides being obnoxious people have their own problems too. Maybe their problems are worse than yours?

Making major life decisions. Do not sell your house, shave your head and move into a monastery, join a cult, start a cult or commit crimes. You get the idea. Hold off on any major decisions until you have gained control of your emotions.

Calling in sick to work and not showing up. You need to be involved. You might have to force yourself. It will not be easy. Find some inner courage and keep moving. If you stop moving then the depression gets worse.

Exercise is an activity you should definitely NOT avoid. Working out in a gym is great but even better is training with other people. Martial arts are good because you train with other people. You need to get your cardio going and raise those endorphin levels. This is a “high” in itself and plus it does not hurt your self-esteem to be looking fit and trim. These are just suggestions. Everybody has different passions. Follow those passions and if possible share them with other positive like-minded people.

I highly recommend you seek further information on this subject before making any major life decisions. I recommend the course “The Magic Of Making Up.” This course has helped hundreds of couples get back together. You are invited to share you comments and experiences in the comment area.

Mark De Sade

Why Women Leave Men

Women leave men for different yet somewhat related reasons. They are generally loyal to the end until they stop feeling appreciated by their man. Men consider this to be “high maintenance because they are so “needy” and crave so much attention.

But it is not attention they need. The need to feel that you appreciate everything about them. From the little love notes, the romantic text messages, the massages, the gourmet meals..ok I am getting carried away. If she was doing all that for you I can see why you want her back!

Women cheat with men who shower them with attention and give them compliments on who they are and what they offer.

The Casanovas of the world use this technique quite well to seduce married women. They start off first as the “friend.” He listens to all the girl’s problems and of course the conversation always turns to “how unappreciative” the man she currently is with is and how he does not see all her wonderful qualities like the Casanova does.

Of course Mr Rico Suave is all over the situation. He gives here the appreciation and attention she desperately craves and then Mr. Suave changes from being a friend to becoming her new lover. Careful. Mr Suave could become the unappreciative partner if he does not keep up the attention. The tables could turn! It is easier to be the exotic lover when they never see your dirty underwear!

Before you make any rash decisions I suggest getting as much information as possible. I suggest you check out the course “The Magic Of Making Up.” This course has helped hundreds of couples get back together. I would love to hear about your own relationship experiences in the comments area.

Mark De Sade

Why Do Men Leave Women?

The first step to getting back with your ex is to find out why he left in the first place.

Couples break up every day. Nobody seems to be immune. The beautiful, the rich, the famous. It does not matter. If you have lived any length of time on this earth you probably have left someone or someone you loved has left you.

It is a very painful situation but you are not alone and you have made a great positive step in seeking out advice and the wisdom of other people’s collective experiences. There has to be a way for average people to survive and move forward with or without the other person who was sharing your life.

Men and women are not the same and the leave relationships for different reasons. We think differently so it can be very confusing trying to figure out exactly what you partner is thinking. Especially when they usually tell you something other than what they really think.

If your partner has left you and is telling you something like “It’s just not working out,” they might as well be speaking Chinese. Of course they are not telling you the real reason.

Let’s get real here. If somebody cheated there was a fundamental problem long before the cheating took place. So if they will not tell you the real reason you have to learn a little bit about how the other sex thinks.

Why Men Leave Women

Men want to avoid conflict. They do not want to see you cry. They do not want to hurt your feelings. Some men do not even know why they want out themselves. They just do.

Men leave a relationship when it no longer is fulfilling their needs. Men want to be admired for who they are. They want respect
and to see that you are interested.

When a relationship is no longer fulfilling men may seek out another woman who has that newness and spark that their old lover once showed.

Women have to let their man know that he is desired. When the relationship starts women really know how to turn on the charm. She smiles, flirts, touches him, and sends him that seductive energy.

As time goes on, the make-up goes, mini skirts are replaced by sweats, his jokes are no longer funny, she no longer exudes the same interest or is flirtatious.

Men do not leave because they found someone who is prettier or thinner. They leave because they find somebody who respects and admires them. They feel desired, esteemed.

Men often complain about nagging. But the nagging itself is not the real problem. It is what the nagging conveys. It tells him that she is dissatisfied with who he is. It is that disappointment and lack of respect which drives him away.

This does not mean that you cannot convey your true feelings. However, you must always communicate respect and love when you do. I highly suggest you get more information before making any major decisions in your life. I recommend you check out the course “The Magic Of Making Up.” This course has helped hundreds of couples get back together.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated.

Mark De Sade

Why Do You Really Want To Get Back With Your Ex?

You have broken up with your ex. You are trying to manage your emotions. You really want to get back with her. But wait. Do you really know why you want to get back with your ex?

Now that you are taking some time to control your emotions and think clearly it is important to really be honest with yourself about why you want to get back with your ex.

Here are some the lies we tell ourselves:

1. I will die without her.
2. She was my whole life.
3. I will never find anyone like her or as good.
4. She was the best thing that ever happened to me.
5. I will never be happy by myself.
6. I will make sure everything is different next time.

Most people feel this way after a break up but you must know that all the above statements are not true! You can absolutely be a happy person again with or without that person.

You must get beyond the idea that you cannot make it alone. You can. If you feel this way you will always be desperate.

You will always have problems with this relationship and with others if you think that “I cannot live without this person.”

You must learn to be happy with yourself first. Not only will you simply be a happier person but you will be much more attractive to another partner or your ex.

If the only reasons that you want to get back with your ex are the above reasons then you really need to reconsider whether it is them that you need or whether you really just need to get right with yourself.

Here are the hard cold facts. You ain’t gonna die without your ex. If she was your entire life then you need to work on your life.
There are plenty of very good people for you out there if you make yourself available. You just have to make sure you are ok with you first.

Maybe you had some wonderful experiences with this person. But you can have wonderful
experiences with other people too.

Now that we have done away with the irrational reasons you want to stay together let’s look at some legitimate reasons you might want to salvage the relationship.

1. Was the relationship a rash decision? Did you just break up over one issue quickly? Did you even try to solve the problem? Was it just a quick emotionally charged fight? If so you might let calmer heads prevail and take a look at exactly what the underlying problem was and try to solve it.

2. Were you happy most of the time you were together? This is a big one. I heard a relationship guru say once “If it is 80% good then it is a keeper!” I like this. Nobody is 100% compatible all the time. Did you throw away a great relationship because of just a few problems or bad experiences?

If 80% of your time together were happy you both have serious legitimate reasons to reconsider.

3. Do you both basically want the same things from life? Are you basically on the same page? Can you see how you could maybe make some small compromises to have the big picture of what you want?

I hope this article has helped give you a better perspective on why you want to get back together and why you should or should not get back together with your ex. If you would like to explore this subject further I suggest the course “The Magic Of Making Up.” This course has helped hundreds of couples get back together. I welcome hearing about your experiences in the comments area.

Mark De Sade

Next Page »