Why Do Relationships End Part 2-Constant Arguing And Fighting

Constant arguing and fighting kill many relationships. But think about it. How many arguments are really fundamentally about
“I do not feel appreciated?” And arguments make men feel worthless far from the feeling of being a strong admired protector.

You can learn a thing or two from relationship counselors who deal with these problems every day. One of the most common statements from men is “No matter what I did I could not make her happy!” If he cannot make you happy or feel that he is making you happy eventually he will give up and find someone he can make happy.

And what is the most common reason women give for leaving? “He does not appreciate a thing I do!”

There is a pattern here. Are you seeing it?

There are other issues such as trust. But fundamentally we are coming back to the same basic underlying causes. Say for example Jose has an affair and lies about it to Maria. Maria finds out and is devastated. She tells Jose that she no longer trusts him and that they are done.

But now let us look at what really is going on. Maria feels either consciously or unconscious that she will never be special for Jose.
That she will never be loved and that Jose will just go out and cheat on her again. She why even be in a relationship?

She says “I do not trust you” but really she does not feel appreciated.

Often men and women and not clear about the feelings especially in a heated argument.

To find out more about how to get back with your ex and how to overcome problems such as arguing and fighting I recommend your check out the course “The Magic Of Making Up.” This course has helped hundreds get back together. Please share your comments and experiences in the comments area.

Mark De Sade

Why Do Relationships End?

Relationships end for many reasons. Each relationship of course, has it nuances. However there are some fundamental problems that are found in most broken relationships. Here are some of them:

Cheating- The woman feels terribly unappreciated. The man does not feel either respected or admired when his wife or girlfriend cheats on him to say the least. Yes, there are other reasons that people have affairs the the underlying core reasons that someone will leave after their is an affair is that the man feels he has lost the respect of his partner and the woman feels unappreciated.

A woman is much more likely to NOT end a relationship after an affair is she still feels that the man both needs and desires her. There are thousands of women who know their husband is having an affiliate but do not leave him because they fell that their husband still appreciates them and needs them at least at some level.

I am not telling you that the affair is right or does not bother her I am just saying that faithfulness take come after feeling appreciated.

Now let’s look at why women cheat on men. The absolute worst thing a woman can do after cheating on her husband is to blame the husband. And this happens all the time.

For example a woman could say things like. It was your fault because: “I needed someone to talk to.” “You never notice me.” “I was lonely.”

Remember men naturally want to be admired. These statements are screaming that the husband is definitely not admired or considered strong. A man wants to be the knight in shining armor and feel like he is a strong protector.

A woman would be much better of not blaming but explaining that the affair was a mistake and how much more of a better man her current husband is than the man she had an affair with.

Before you make any major decisions with your life I suggest you get as much information as possible. I highly recommend the course “The Magic Of Making Up.” This course has helped hundreds get back together with their ex partners for the right reasons.

Please leave your comments and your personal experiences in the comments area.

Mark De Sade

Tips For Regaining Control Of Your Emotions After A Breakup

If you have just gone through a break up you are probably emotionally traumatized.

If you are to have any chance of getting back together with your ex or even meeting anybody new you need to learn how to find your emotional balance. You need to be able to think clearly, and rationally. Rarely are people attracted to those in an emotional crisis. You need to get a handle on your emotions as quickly as possible.

Here are some ideas that may help you.

1. Write down your feelings and fears. When you write down your feelings and fears you are giving yourself permission to let them go. Rather than causing you to dwell on your negative emotions writing them down can help you indentify exactly what is bothering you. This can help you move on.

If you have trouble getting the writing process going just pretend you are writing a letter to a good friend or relative.

Writing about your relationship can help you discover aspects about it that you were not aware of. It can clarify exactly what went wrong and even what was good about your relationship. It can help you understand why you should or should not get back with our ex and what you might do better.

Keeping a diary or journal can be therapeutic. It can be a way to release much of the anger, frustration and hurt that you are experiencing and move on faster.

Do not worry if you writing is not stellar. This is for your eyes not for publication. You are not writing a novel. Just be yourself and let the thoughts flow. This is an excellent discipline and can help you speed up the healing process so you can move on and make intelligent rational decisions regarding your life.

Leaning on your friends. We usually turn to our friends when in trouble but you do not want to constantly be whining and crying to them about your broken relationship. Rather try to get together with your friends for some fun positive times. This can be a great way to get you out of you “funk” and start building positive experiences away from you old relationship.

Going To A Pro. If the going really gets rough do not be afraid to consult a professional. Sometimes it really helps to speak with someone who is not a friend or relative and someone who deals with these situations all the time. When choosing a therapist make sure you feel comfortable with this person. Everybody is different and the therapist that I might feel comfortable with might not necessarily work for you.

You should do your homework before taking any major action in your life on this issue. I can recommend the course “The Magic Of Making Up.” This course has helped hundreds of people get back together in a healthy manner. I welcome your comments and hearing about your own personal experiences in the comments area.

Mark De Sade

On The Road To Getting Your Ex Back-How To Get Over Emotional Pain Quicker With The Fast Forward Technique

We have all heard the saying “time heals all wounds.” But that does not help much if you are experiencing emotional pain right now.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful is somehow we could just fast forward to that less painful time in the future? Wouldn’t it be great to have
an emotional time travel machine?

There is a psychological technique called the “Fast Forward Technique.” I learned this from the author of “The Magic Of Making Up” and I thought it was a good one.

Step 1: Feel whatever you are feeling and notice how and where you feel it. For example many people feel emotional pain in their chest. This might not be the case for you but localize the pain.

Now focus on this pain and ask yourself.

1. Can I allow this feeling?

Or…

Can I welcome this feeling?

And then answer. I can be either yes or no.

Step 2. Ask out loud or to yourself: Could I let this feeling go?” Again answer yes or no.

Step 3 Ask “Would I let this pain go?”

Step 4: Ask “When can I let this pain go?”

Step 5: Now examine the pain again. Is it different. Did something change? Even if there is a little improvement you are on the right track to fast forwarding through your pain.

This should not be a strain on you. Actually it should be a somewhat comforting experience.

Try doing 2-3 such sessions per day. Each session can be 5 or 6 repetitions through all 5 stpes.

This is a very powerful technique that can be used to minimize all kinds of emotional pain. Keep it handy! Your time is your life. The faster you can work through your emotional pain the faster you can start working on getting your ex back. But first you must master your emotions.

I highly suggest your research this subject in depth before taking any major action in your life. I recommend you check out the popular course on this subject “The Magic Of Making Up.” This course has helped thousands get back together with their ex partners. Your comments and experiences are welcome in the comments area.

Mark De Sade

More Thoughts On Getting Your Ex Back

Did you just go through a break up? Probably so if you are reading this. Are you wondering if it is possible to get your ex back? Almost every adult has experiences this type of pain. If you are doing being a victim and want to try to do something positive about your situation read on.

The truth is most of the time there is absolutely no reason why you can’t get together with your ex as long as you are armed with a bit of knowledge. One of the first steps (after you have stopped freaking out!) is to honestly ask yourself what went wrong. You might not know exactly but write down your ideas on this subject. This exercise will not only help you clarify your own feelings but you may begin to discover how you could change in the future.

Perhaps the break up occurred after one heated event. Or maybe your ex just could not tolerate certain of your repeated behaviors. You need to know as many specifics as possible. Even if you manage to get your ex back you want to make sure the same situation does not repeat itself. You want to keep her!

This next step is very important. You need to come off as self-assured, clam, and compassionate. You cannot come across and panicked or needy. You must stay strong and show your ex that you are doing just fine by yourself. This is an attractive quality for anybody. Needy people repel others. Your ex wants to get back with a together person not a mess!

Also do not try to make your ex jealous or be vengeful. There is a saying “The best revenge is living well.” Well, you are not looking for revenge but living well is the best way to start to get her back.

I highly recommend you seek more detailed knowledge on this subject. There is a popular course called “The Magic Of Making Up.” You can check it out here.

As usual your comments and personal experiences on this subject are welcome in the comments area.

Mark De Sade

What Are The Chances Of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Do feel like everything you do pushes her further and further away? Are you asking yourself “what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back” every two minutes in your head? Here are some ideas that will greatly improve your chances of getting what you want. Your ex back!

You are obviously serious about saving your relationship with your girlfriend. That is why you are reading this article. However, if you are too needy or over-anxious to get your ex back you could actually be sabotaging your chances. This desperate behavior will actually push your ex girlfriend away not towards you. As humans we seem to want what we cannot have. Throwing yourself at your ex will only make it worse.

Stop calling, texting, messaging, “bumping into her accidentally”, harassing her family and friends, writing letters, sending gifts, flowers, candy, proposals. Stop it! You gotta be cool dude!

Check out this strategy instead. Start fresh. Break off contact for a while. Start doing your own activities. Find old interests that you had let go while your were in a “relationship.” Get back on your feet emotionally. Get your act together. Your ex does not want to get back together with a mess!

If you do what I suggest above i.e. start pursuing your other interests and passions, getting out of the house and out with friends. Maybe even giving back by doing some volunteer work your ex may start looking at you with different eyes. Remember, do not be needy or throw yourself at her. Cool is the name of the game. Cool and confident. If you do not smother your ex she might actually start missing you. Remember, she fell for you once. You must still have those great qualities.

What are your chances of success? Well you are seeking knowledge and that is a great start. People get back with their ex partners all the time. Nobody can tell you for sure what will happen in your specific situation. But you have taken the first step of seeking knowledge. This is crucial. I want to congratulate you on this step. There are a number of courses on the subject of getting your ex back. One that I recommend is “The Magic Of Making Up.” I suggest checking out the reviews of these courses and even more important see how you feel about the person promoting the course. Everybody has different personalities and perspectives. What will work for you will not necessarily work for me. I will you much success, growth and happiness in your quest.

How To Tell If Your Ex Wants To Get Back Together With You

If your ex seems to be showing up more often, showing hints of being interested, wants to spend a little more time with you than before, is even being flirtatious, then these are signs that she potentially wants to get back together. However, do not be in too much of a hurry to jump head on full force back into the relationship. It is in your interest to slows things down a bit.

People want what they cannot have. It seems to be a universal principle. If you want to get back with your ex hold back a little bit (not too much.) If you dive back into the relationship full force you could find yourself actually repelling her. If she is even showing interest now it is because she has not had you and you have seemed elusive recently.

If a relationship has lasted for more than one year it is natural for both partners to miss each other. These feelings of loss are mixed in with other feelings of regret. Chances are your ex is having the same mixed emotions that you are.

You need to determine if your ex is just looking for attention or if she is really interested in getting back together seriously. Some may actually be trying to get back together to exact some sort of revenge for some perceived wrong. This is why you must look before you leap back into the relationship.

I have seen one case where a woman was cheating on her partner habitually. Finally her partner could not take it any more and he left her and found another woman. Even though the cheating woman really did not love her partner she had to have him back. Why? Two reasons. One reason was that she viewed this person as a “possession” that she had lost. Yes, I know that is really cold-hearted but true! The other was that she just was afraid of being alone. The very thought of being alone petrified her. She pursued her ex until she finally got him back.(She obviously had not read any of my articles but her methods seemed to work.) They are now back together and she is back to cheating. Well, I think they both need therapy but this shows that analyzing both partners true motives for being together is crucial to long-term happiness. They are probably both together again but for the wrong reasons and they are doomed to unhappiness and repeating the same mistakes.

The best course of action to determine if your ex seriously is looking to get with you is to play a little hard to get. Take things slowly. Listen to what you says and watch what she does. Life always gives you little hints. It is your job to be aware and pick up on these hints. Be intellectually honest with yourself. Do not see just what you want to see but the truth. This can be hard to do but it is critical for your emotional health.

You should also learn as much about the subject of “getting back with your ex” as possible. I have been looking at several courses. Here is a blogpost about one such course where different people share their experiences on video about getting back with their ex partners. I also recommend the course “The Magic Of Making Up.” This course has helped many people reconnect with their ex partners.

Please share your personal comments and experiences in the comments area below.

Mark De Sade

Don’t Panic-The Key To Winning Back Their Love

You just had the conversation. It is official. You are broken up. So what now? Should you start sending 1000s of text messages? Should you call them immediately in a panic crying? Stalk them? Freak out completely?

You may feel like doing all the above and more. It is natural because you are deeply hurt and you feel out of control of your life.

However, panicking is the worst thing you can do. Panic is your enemy. Remember that fact. It is crucial for you to realize this before you can achieve your true goals.Desperation and being crazy emotionally will most definitely drive your ex (and anybody else) away from you.

Before we learn how to stop the panic let’s look at where it comes from.

You may normally be a lucid calm, rational person. However, when it comes to getting dumped your emotions go wild and even the coolest cucumber will lose it. This is what makes us call our ex at 3am drunk, crying and begging them to come back. Then waking up and cringing at what a fool you made of yourself.

After a break up you lose control. You are launched into unfamiliar territory. Even if the relationship was not ideal before at least you kind of knew what to expect. Now you have no idea.

You often will feel an overwhelming need to regain control. This is when you are
susceptible to gingo to extremes and actually driving your ex further away.

You MUST back off and allow yourself to become rational again. This is crucial. You cannot proceed any further if you continue is a state of desperation and panic.

You are now officially in the “Take A Breather” stage. Give it a break. Back off. Cool down.
Get Zen. Do what you have to do to become level headed. Stop calling, emailing, “accidentally bumping into her”, stalking her on Facebook, asking her friends what she is doing. Chill.

You may think that the key to winning back her love is to contact her and tell them how much you really love them before it is too late. However, in the state you are in your emotions are wound tight. The nerves are raw. Most likely you will alienate your ex even further.

When the break up is fresh and the emotions
are live you are much more likely to:

*Seek revenge.
*Tease your ex and bring up old arguments.
*Say mean things that make your ex feel resentful.
*Try to make your ex jealous.
*Say things that you know she will react to negatively.
*Just flat-out lie.

When you are in a panicked, emotional state you cannot act rationally and cool. This is why this “take a breather” stage is crucial.

Do you think any of the above strategies will bring your ex closer to you? I doubt it.

You need to have a cooling off period. Take a look at the calendar. Look about 30 days in advance and circle that date. That will be the first date that you will be allowed to contact your ex in any way. Email, Facebook, text etc. No contact of any kind for one month.

If you feel like calling STOP! Remember panic is your enemy. If you call while emotional you
will lose. And you want their love back right?

You need this time to calmly look at what went wrong with the relationship. Once there is some time and distance and the emotions have cooled you have a possibility of really communicating and progressing with your ex.

Just a note. Maybe you are in a situation where you work with your ex and you might see her now and then. You do not want to run away covering your head! Do not be a fanatic. If you see your ex just be cool, say “hello” and then move on politely.

If you run every time you see her you could come off as angry or bitter or vengeful. Just be
calm and cool even if you are going beserk within.

You need the one month time to both regain control of your emotions and to plan your
strategy. You cannot be a good strategist if you are out of your mind. You can reassure yourself that you will have a plan. A real plan. This alone should calm you down a bit.

Let’s face it. They need some time too. I am sure you have heard the phrase “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Give them some time to miss you. They obviously saw some good qualities in you or they would not chosen to be with you in the first place. Give them time to think about these qualities.

You want your ex to feel like you respect her and that you understand her concerns.
Taking a breather portrays you as being more together, mature and thoughtful partner. Even you are not quite there yet fake it! Practice makes perfect. These are qualities that
most people find quite attractive.

If you are serious about getting your ex back the first steps are to regain control of your emotions then start working on yourself. Seeking guidance and benefiting from other people’s experiences can really help. Here is a blogpost where people are discussing their experiences about trying to get their ex partners back. I also recommend the course “The Magic Of Making Up.” I wish you the best in your quest for peace and happiness.

Mark De Sade

A Step By Step Guide Winning Back The Love Of Your Life

Relationships are challenging for everyone in all social and economic circles. They are so difficult because we really do not have total control. There is somebody else we have to deal with and they can do whatever they wish. This is scary for many because we invest so much of our emotional well-being with our partner.

If you are going through a break up my heart goes out to you. I have been there and I know it can be gut wrenching. It is bad enough to break up but when it happens suddenly for no apparent reason the emotional anguish can be overwhelming even for the strongest person.

You must realize that you are at a disadvantage right now. You are in a state of shock. You have been traumatized psychologically. Do not underestimate this! You must first recognize that you are in a weakened state before taking any concrete actions.

You must stop all contact with your ex right now while you are in this state. Nothing good can come from trying to discuss your relationship while you are in an emotionally unbalanced state. You must first get a grip on your emotions.

Stop calling, texting, showing up at her work, checking her out on Facebook, bugging her friends about her, or emailing her. Take a break. Contacting your ex in this mental state will only show you as weak and undesirable. This will push her further away and affirm her decision to break off the relationship. This is not what you want!

The next step is to work on you. You need to get out of this depressed state of mind. Go out with friends. Take up old hobbies that you neglected while you were “in a relationship.”
Get in shape. Eat healthy. Get those endorphins going. Volunteer. You will be surprised how doing something for other people will take your mind off of your problems. I know it is not easy but you might have to force yourself to get moving at first. Then momentum will start working in your favor.

Pay attention to your hygiene and personal appearance. I am not saying that you have to try to look like a model. Just look as good as you can look. You will start feeling better about yourself and so will other people. Momentum will start to work in your favor. Stay away from too much alcohol and certainly no drugs. These will only depress you further.

If you start doing all the both you should be starting to feel better at least physically and some self-esteem should start returning. It is important for you to carry on with your life. Stop blaming yourself for the breakup. Your ex should just know that you are doing fine without them but do not contact them yet. You should spend at least one month working
on yourself before contacting them again.

People want what they can’t have. If you jump in your ex partner’s lap and say they can have you and all of you right now you they probably will freak out and run away. Take it easy. Play a little hard to get. You want to portray self-confidence, fun and happiness not desperation and loneliness.

Have you ever noticed that more women hit on you when they know you are in a relationship? What is up with that? Well, you project an aura of contentment, you probably
are better groomed, women can just sense the confidence. It is a very real vibe you put out. This is what you need to start to project.

Here is the last step. You need to walk a fine line her. You need to play a little hard to get but not too hard to get. Maintain your poise, exude confidence and perhaps you will not even have to make the first move. This is where it can be handy to have mutual friends. Even if you do make a “date” to get together make it short and very light at first. Perhaps just lunch. Do not spend more than 30 minutes on this initial contact date.

I commend you on seeking knowledge on this subject. It is an important one. Here is an interesting blogpost where people from all walks of life are discussing their experiences in trying to win back their ex lovers.

Most relationships can be saved but often critical mistakes are made right away which make it very difficult to mend the relationship. I suggest you get wisdom before making any big decisions. It can mean the difference between success and failure. I am rooting for you and your love.

If you are serious about getting back with your ex I suggest you check out the course “The Magic of Making Up.” It is a detailed guide to help you discover what you really want, why you want it and how to get it. You are welcome to share your comments and experiences here on the blog.

Mark De Sade

Getting Your Ex Back-How To Get Your Ex To Return Your Phone Calls

Are there actually words that you can use that will magically compel your ex to return your phone call? Actually there are such words. They will practically cast a spell on your ex to the point that she will not be able to help herself. Well, I am going to share this information with you because it is one of the most asked questions I received from thousands of subscribers.

So I am now going to answer the question “How do I get me ex to return my phone calls?”

However, before I do I must give you a warning. Without all the principles in “The Magic Of Making Up” you may damage your relationship more than if they never returned your phone call.

First here is what you should NOT say. Not only does it almost never work but it puts you in a very negative psychological situation.

The first no no is what we call “The Plead.”

It goes like this “Mary,please call me. This is the 20th time I have called today. I HAVE to speak with you!”

And then there is the emergency method. “Missy, this is an emergency. Call me as soon as you get this. It is a matter of life and death.”

I am sure you can see that both these desperate approaches will show you as desperate and dishonest. And these are the exact opposite qualities that we want to show your ex.

You need to use self interest and curiosity in your favor. Get both working for you and you have the magic recipe.

Do now let’s look at actually what works almost every time. In a calm positive tone say: “Hi Mary. It’s Juan. I wanted to let you know that I appreciate what you did for me. Call me because I want to thank you in person.”

Can you see how this uses BOTH curiosity and her self interest? She will not be able to resist those two! She will be thinking “what does he appreciate?” She will also feel good bout hearing from you because it is a positive message.

Before you do this you need to figure out what it was that you appreciated so much. I can be something small but is needs to be plausible.

But even more important you need to have an underlying strategy. I am giving you another warning now! The Magic of Making Up System lays out this strategy in detail. You can find out more about the “Magic Of Making Up System” here. What you do before, during and after you get them to call is even more important. Have a plan! I would love to hear about your experiences and ideas in the comments area.

Rooting For You,

Mark De Sade.

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